CONTEST: Strange Bedfellows!

CW · 02-07-2018, 01:00 PM

PG-13 ? awww man! :-)

**Skywalkered** · 02-07-2018, 01:10 PM

Originally posted by CW View Post

PG-13 ? awww man!

Sucks, don't it? It's more the romance side we're interested in, not the...um...bedroom stuff. ;P

**Third_Monti** · 02-07-2018, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by Skywalkered View Post

Sucks, don't it? It's more the romance side we're interested in, not the...um...bedroom stuff. ;P

There goes all the fun.

*tells band to pack up the saxophones*

**Chewbacca @bossssshoda** · 02-07-2018, 02:39 PM

It all started many years ago when Bianca Davri still lived in Kirkwall where Varric Tehtras was looking for someone with Mechanical Skils, a girlfriend. Their friendship lasted about 15 years as Varric said. They almost started a clan war because of their relationship.. If they got back to the guild that they were seen together they would freeze Varric's assets and then have him killed. They were not supposed to be within three hundred leagues of each other. It was a love at first sight, beautiful but with a sad ending. Varric was Lovesick of Bianca But she moves to Orlais and marries another dwarf chosen by her family. Varric was very sad when he heard that .He passed very hard through this happening. Varric calls his crossbow Bianca refusing to say why he named it and how it was made. But it is also a happy ending where Varric becomes Varric Viscount in Kirkwall. Varric describes Bianca as the most wonderful person he has ever met.Now he is an Old man who tells about his adventures with Bianca and The Inquisitor sitting on his throne in Kirkwall
It seems that Varric had a nice long relationship but he remains alone because of rivality between the two families.The legend says he still suffers and still has feelings for Bianca.
Ally code : 593-489-886

Attached Files

**Bjorn Ragnarok** · 02-07-2018, 03:35 PM

unless i'm mistaken, you can still get to 2nd base with PG-13

"Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Parents are urged to be cautious. Some material may be inappropriate for pre-teenagers."

"Nudity is restricted to PG and above, although only brief nudity is permitted in a PG rated film. Nudity that is sexually oriented will generally require an R rating. As of 2010, the MPAA has added a descriptor of "male nudity" to films featuring said content."

So we can still get a little hot and heavy. ;-)

**AL Przybysz** · 02-07-2018, 03:44 PM

Ally Code: 814-442-144 ///

Her words floated delicately with the melodies played, each one a petal of flower being carried away by the breeze showing the serenity of their hearts. Cole departed with Maryden, each day knowing love and becoming more human ... although his abilities as a spirit still seem to be carried by his own nature, somehow paste the ones used when maryden played, but that did not represent danger some only when he drank his first beer did things seem to get out of control with the whole tavern rolling in tears of laughter as she sang a song about Sera. the two of them worked so well together that whenever Mary sang they seemed to have the wounds inside their fully healed hearts.It had been a few years since the events of the Inquisition had taken place, and yet it was difficult for Cole to learn love, but Mary was half as lacking in his understanding. there was no pain, they were not lost, it was as if the Maker himself had made way for both to tread together. Stories about the first binge to part, the hardest part for Cole was still to understand the game of masks when they both traveled through Orlais. What was the reason for his feelings? Why not tell the world and the people you loved? it was difficult to understand yet, but some maryden songs made the essence behind the masks clean despite the protections they normally carried. their adventures together took them to the most diverse places and today they were on their way to anderfells, what would be in their way remained a mystery but both somehow knew that since they were together, nothing would be able to hurt them. ///

Ps: I don't know if reach so many words, but I think Cole and Maryden make a great couple! And I hope that Maryden gain a revamp soon by giving some bonuses for Cole. Hahah ?

**Zyfon** · 02-07-2018, 07:29 PM

It all started a few days ago. I was in battle as usual with my demon team which had one Kitty it in. Normally, I would click 'fight' with the sound on walk away. Since I didn't hear any battle sounds, I assumed the battle was over. I went back to my ipad and saw the strangest thing ever. My Kitty stopped it's attack and just look on lovingly at the other team. It was a full team of Ser Pounce-a-Lot. Then the unbelievable happened. My Kitty went over to the other team with a huge heart icon over its head and started attacking MY TEAM. What the?? Love can be a strange thing. My team lost and I haven't seen my Kitty ever since. If you guys see a random Kitty with a team of Ser Pounce-a-Lot, please tell it to come home. I really want my cat back...

**Flerm** · 02-07-2018, 07:36 PM

Varric I'm not, but I do my best! Not a romance, but otherwise fits the theme rather well I think

Final word count: 968

Beardy and the Beast

Oghren swung his axe down with a grunt, but missed his target by a hair. “Damn vermin, get back here!” he growled, chasing the nug through the kitchen. He swung his axe pell-mell, breaking bowls, urns, and furniture, but the nug always managed to avoid the blow.
He collapsed in a corner, winded. A bottle lay beside him, and he picked it up, eyed the contents, and finished it in one quick gulp. The nug watched this from the top of a barrel, beady eyes appraising the dwarf. “Sodding ass,” he grumbled and hurled the empty bottle at the creature. It missed, of course, and the nug scrambled away into the shadows.
This was the fourth time Oghren had seen the nug in a week. He always caught it rummaging through the trash, or making a nest in his underthings. But try as he might, he could never get the slippery beast. Disheartened, he lay his head back and fell into a drunken sleep.

The next day, Oghren found himself arguing in the marketplace over a case of Montsimmard Dark 8:10 Storm. “I’m telling you, this batch just ain’t worth that much! I’ve got a guy over in Denerim who’d sell me a case for 20 silvers!” He spat to his side. “The quality just wasn’t the same as the, er…earlier years.”
The vender, a dark-haired Rivaini, cocked their eyebrow. “Oghren, don’t try to talk quality, it does not suit you. You’d drink a cask of horse piss if it sat in a basement long enough.”
“Dragon’s piss, and nothing less!” Oghren laughed, clapping the vender on their arm. “Okay, look, I’ll give you 50 silver for the case, but you’re robbing me blind you know!”
“Oghren, leave now. I won’t tell you again.” The vendor glanced over their shoulder and motioned to somebody nearby.
A moment later, a member of the city guard was standing behind the dwarf. “What’s the problem here, then?” His voice was gravelly, but his face and belly were soft.
Oghren thought of his options. He could have lopped off the guard’s arm before he had time to draw his sword, but he didn’t think the Rivaini would take too kindly to having their storefront spattered with blood.
“Eh, sod it all.” Oghren spat once again and stomped away, dejected.

A short while later, Oghren sat against the side of a boarded-up shop, whittling a stick with a small dagger. He sighed deeply and looked up, and nearly sliced off his thumb in surprise.
The nug.
There it was, staring at him from the center of the street, twitching its nose in recognition.
“You stone-forsaken rodent, leave me alone!” he shouted drunkenly. A pair of young elven women stopped in their tracks then quickly turned to head the other way, but Oghren paid them no mind. “What do you want from me, you menace! Demon nug!” He launched his dagger across the road, but like the previous night the nug was gone before it was in any real danger. It scampered around the corner of the shop and Oghren followed, waving his stick and shouting.
The nug dodged between the legs of the shoppers as they cleared a path for the mad dwarf waving his sharpened stick. Oghren saw the creature slip through a crack in a building. He fell to his hands and knees and began prodding the stick into the hole, waiting to feel the squishy nug flesh impaled by his makeshift pike.
After a moment, the market guard came over to see what the trouble was. Oghren tried to explain that the nug had been tormenting him for days. The guard looked at him with disgust and a bit of pity and let the dwarf off with a final warning, but insisted that he take Oghren’s stick.
Oghren slumped against the stone wall and stared off into space. He was just about to head back to his house when he heard a strange clinking sound coming from behind him. He looked around but saw only the stone wall. Was something in the wall? The clinking continued, and he finally realized that the sound was coming from the hole into which the nug escaped.
“Great, the demon rat just doesn’t know when to quit, does it?” he grumbled. He watched the hole as the clinking got louder, until finally something popped out. But it wasn’t the nug; it was something glassy and round. It slipped out a little more, then more, until finally Oghren recognized it.
A bottle. A dusty bottle of Montsimmard Dark 8:10 Storm! Oghren ripped the bottle out of the hole, his eyes alight as he checked the label and vintage. It was the same bottle he was haggling for earlier in the day! Confused, he looked back down at the hole where the treasure had emerged. A pair of black, soulful eyes stared back at him.
“You bleedin’ nug,” Oghren laughed. “How in stone’s name-“ The nug dipped back into the wall, and a moment later Oghren heard the familiar clinking sound. Like magic, a second bottle began to emerge.
Oghren practically leapt in glee as he pulled the bottle from the hole. “You glorious beast, you keep them coming!”
And the nug did. Ten more bottles of the Montsimmard followed the first two, plus some silver and sovereigns and a strange blue gem. Oghren beamed down at his new friend and companion.

That night, the fire was warm and bright in Oghren’s hearth. He sat in a large, comfortable chair with two empty bottles at his side. The nug was curled up by his feet, a few drops of the Montsimmard left in its bowl. “You and me, buddy.” Oghren patted the nug gently. “This will be the start of something beautiful.”
The nug snored, content

**Neto Varela** · 02-07-2018, 07:47 PM

The Heart of Sera, the Red, has been Stolen

Many years ago in the kingdom of Tedas, lived a king named Vizconde Varric, who had a beautiful daughter, the princess, whom they all called Sera, Jenny the Red, she from very small was falling in love with his protector the Battlemaster Garrett Hawke, but between them stood an evil Magus named Fen'Harel, who for a long time had been adviser to the king and had gradually poisoned his mind, he wanted to keep all the kingdom of Tedas and for that he knew he had to possess the heart of the princess.

The evil wizard Fen'Harel, without the king noticing, cast a spell on the princess, taking her heart which was a Red Mythical Scroll, leaving her without any feeling, fortunately the sister of the Battle Master Garrett Hawke, who was called Battlemaster Marian Hawke saw when the evil wizard stole the princess's heart and confronted the sorcerer in a bloody battle, however the evil wizard was more powerful and destroyed her, before dying the Battlemaster Marian Hawke released her Her heart was a White Mythical Scroll and she sent it to her brother, so he would know what the evil wizard had done.

Fen'Harel, realizing what Battlemaster Marian Hawke had done, fled with the princess to the confines of the forest, where she would know that the Battlemaster would not find him, however, fearing that the Master would find him, she gave him the shelter of the Red Mythical Scroll to the Great Dragon, who would take care of it with his life.

The Battlemaster resorted to the Great Enchantress Vivienne to know how to save the princess, who told her that only destroying the Great Dragon and making a sacrifice of true love, the Red Mythical Scroll, would return to the body of the princess.

The Battlemaster entered the confines of the dark forest of Tedas, in search of the Great Dragon until he managed to find him and fighting against him, with his strong spas, he managed to split it in half and draw the Princess's heart inside the Great Dragon. , but Fen'Harel knew that he would not be able to return the heart to the body of the princess without a sacrifice of true love, however the master challenged him to death, without realizing that the plan of the Battle Master, was to die for the princess, the evil magician cast his greatest spell on the great master and he, without even defending himself, received the direct impact and died.

The heart of the princess, together with the heart of the Battlemaster, returned to the body of the princess, realizing what the evil Fen'Harel had done launched with his powerful bow an arrow on the magician and destroyed him, freeing the king of the spell and freeing Tedas from evil, the princess may have lost the love of his life, but the heart of his love, will live forever inside her.

End

Ally Code: 528-914-634
OG RLC Lord Dragon AD

**Kawaii** · 02-08-2018, 05:12 AM

Garrett hated Isabella, but he loved her with all his heart. A daring smile, a fervent light in his eyes and this unique sweet smell mixed with rum — it excites Hawke, but because of this he sees a pirate An obscene woman.

Hawk again and again argues with Isabella on the raised tones. The companions are silent and quietly grin. Garrett is angry and stronger stops. He shamefully hides the eye, and Avelino only with regret and a slight reproach shakes her head. Isabella's pretty snorting and laughing. Why her? The magician does not understand. Does not want to understand.

Hawk's looking at the ceiling. Next Isabella sleeping peacefully, satisfied with his small victory. Hawk can't believe I'm doing this. Slept with a port unscrupulous An obscene woman. Garrett smiles with a trembling smirk. Happy and angry at the same time. It is a fire of hostility and a strange affection. The defender understands that he is a fleeting attraction for a pirate, but he enjoys these moments. Savors each and on slightly-slightly.

Past Isabella does not change the views of the Hawk about it. And it eats into his heart, like a nasty worm. From love to hate one step, and Vice versa, but with love, living with hatred, much more complicated. Now he's not sparring with her, tensely silent. And Isabella laughing, as if laughing, then quietly and willfully. When she has problems with qunari, Garrett, without hesitation, rushes to her defense. Arishok is defeated. Grey sky crowding thundercloud. Hawk's confused. He falls to the ground and bites his lip to the blood. Hawk's devastated. For the first time in many years, the MAG went on about their feelings.

They both fear his hostile love. For them it is a disease, incurable and severe. But now Isabelle is confused and shy. She wants to know if hawk loves her. But hawke was silent, holding back rage and anger. Isabella wants to ask again, but Garrett interrupts her, breaks out to scream. He admits he loves her, but he can't stand being around him. He again falls silent. Now his voice is calm and a little harsh. The magician asks the pirates to leave. Go away and never show up in his life again. Isabella does not cry, does not reproach, just shaking, holding back tears.

"I didn't do it for them. I did this for you. Just for you»

Isabella's back to pirate life. In the Garret is no longer hatred, just particularly unfortunate. The principles and the debt was for Hawk above all else, but now he doubts it. It is now much more difficult to resolve issues of honour when the soul is bound by guilt. Pirates are not around, but why so cramped in the chest?
A light mocking phantom hovers over Garrett hawk, preventing him from living. But if the magician lived after arriving in Kirkwall? Good question. He lived with love, seasoned with hatred that no longer exists. Sometimes him seems, that in the air is a unique sweet smells, mixed with rum. Emerges before your eyes a cheeky smile. However, hawk closes in itself only stronger. For a tragic story of his desire, as his ironic fate.

Ally code: 825-773-868

**Uraeus** · 02-08-2018, 07:10 AM

The Inquisitor hurt my feelings!

Cassandra Pentaghast was once a well respected Seeker. Now however the only thing she sought was a bottle. Cass, bottle seeker they called her in taverns across Thedas. Blaming the Inquisitor for ruining her life to anyone willing to put up with her drunken ramblings, when the fact is it was her own rigid belief in the chant of light and oppression of mages. When not vomiting though she was still enough of a looker to draw the attention of dirty men.

During one hazy evening she drew the attention of a particularly dirty one, was he a widow? Surely not a Warden, there's no way a scruffy drunk like this would be accepted. He was funny though, a surface dwarf with red hair and beard. Oggen, or something she called him...slurring the random names worse and worse with each drink during their competition.

The next morning she awoke clothed, but snuggled up to the dwarf in a roadside stable next to a small chapel. A cork, a hole drilled through it on her finger with the name Oghren written upon it. On his hand the same, but with Cassandra upon it. Horrified she charged into the chapel, color draining from her face as the matron informed her, "Yes, you insisted to be married. I've even sent word along, at your request, to Nevarra...along with the stipulation your dowry be paid to the Grey Wardens of Ferelden.".

Oghren came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and burped. "Let's be on our way, I am sure you'll survive the joining. If not, the dowry is non-refundable anyway". She was so mortified Oghren had to drag her to the horse, and stout little pony he rode himself with hair covering it's eyes. "Just ride off, he'll never catch you on that short legged thing. Go, go, go!" Her mind screamed, but when his "steed" trotted closer and he offered the bottle, well she downed the whole thing. "If you didn't already have my heart, you have it now!" He bellowed, and chuckled afterward. She forced a brief smile, "Did we?" her voice squeaked.

He took the bottle, casually tossed it into the bushes and spoke, "You passed out upon hitting the hay.". "So you took advantage?", she angrily spat. "If you knew dwarves as well as the bottle, you'd know most of us have honor...besides the animals were judging me with their eyes." Winking at her, and giving her some space. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she laughed in relief, "Ha! So until we do we're not married.". He scoffed, "Going to blame the Inquisition for this too?" he shot back nonchalantly. "Look here you bearded nug, I started the damn thing! My counsel was ignored!" looking rather smug with herself. "Oh, and you're never wrong?" Her anger amusing him, and fishing out another bottle for himself. "Nobody is perfect." Stinging herself with the words, and with a growl she guided her horse closer, snatched the bottle and downed some.

Silence wrapped around the pair for the entirety of the next day, only the bottles shared. By the third day though she had seen enough of his interactions with other travellers to know he wasn't terrible and damn her mind, but through the bottom of a bottle he did have potential, if cleaned up a bit.

She did indeed survive the Joining, and came to love Oghren more than drink. It wasn't immediate by any means, but nurtured over time through trials and tribulations. Even claiming divine inspiration when pushing for Wardens that heard the calling to become a new type of powerful golem that could similarly sense Darkspawn and kill an Archdemon, without ever joining them due to the power of the Anvil.

AC: 398-886-691

**Сергей Лазарев** · 02-08-2018, 09:08 AM

A love story in an abandoned thaig.

This story happened in one of the once great, but abandoned thaig owned home Qadash. Those missing for the world ruins became home to many creatures living on deep paths, thanks to the plants and trees, he was incredibly filled with living creatures, that distinguishes it from other thaigs.

In one of the karst cavities under the statue of the Golem and lived the protagonist of our story. Something similar to a lizard, covered with scales, with the creepy mouth-spout, by nature he was a predator, one of many horrific creatures inhabiting deep trail. He once belonged to a flock of deep, inspiring terror hunters of all living creatures, they say even the spawn of darkness not visited these places. But eventually, something it began to change, eternal hunger, followed by a feeling of aversion to the taste of flesh in my mouth. He stopped hunting and began to eat insects and worms and was banished from his flock. All his relatives pretended as if it does not exist and it is very hurt, until he met her…

During one of his meals, our hero saw a small animal, wool she had no, it was something of a rabbit and something of a Guinea pig, a very cute pig ... She somersault in a mud puddle and was looking for something. In the old days he'd had long snap at her and ripped, but not now. Slowly he began to creep up to this incredibly beautiful creature. Hear the gnashing of "hard floor thaig, she lifted her head, because life in the underground paths she was nearly blind, but since childhood learned to distinguish contours tazpadam, fear ground her, closing her eyes, she froze in place and could not move. But suddenly it seemed that she heard before the village is not known for her sound, carnivorous similar to the lizard animal has something similar to gnashing, he was such a nice and no ghastly threat. Opening her eyes she saw as this "horrible" predator of its snout excavated hole and had already found such juicy and tasty worms and insects that she'd never do not found. Approaching she looked him, their eyes met and both of them have experienced up to the village not experienced feelings. She began treating abandoned her, enjoys her new awesome friend, and he's on the sidelines watched her with admiration, for the first time in a long time, he felt that not alone and this feeling was warming the soul.

When are finished with meal, he heard a lot of this distance, nugs squeak flock lost his new girlfriend. When you are finished with the meal she looked at him, then turned and ran towards their way. With pain in our hearts he was about to leave, but what was his surprise when he heard behind the now familiar squeaking, she ran after him and more nothing could separate them. So our heroes met and this is truly the most amazing love story in the abandoned thaig House Qadash.

P.S. I apologize for the error, if any, the text was translated from Russian, the essence of some of the proposals may be lost. And thank you for your attention))

Ally code: 414-269-771

**rusich** · 02-08-2018, 12:19 PM

For a few knickknacks first broke for a long time, but then passionately gave herself to Hawk witch Morrigan

Ally code: 986-554-292

**Adama** · 02-08-2018, 12:51 PM

Ally code: 638-227-884

Leliana put the letter down on the table. The noise of the always milling crowds from the streets of Val Royeaux was loud, but she didn’t noticed it, her thoughts were far away. Her memories rushed her mind, as it was yesterday when she had to flee from Orlais. She was alone and heartbroken. On the night when she left, there was just one ship sailing out. She couldn’t travel legally, so she hid in the cargo bay. Because the recent events, she was upset and careless, she didn’t noticed that someone was watching her.
Isabella didn’t liked free riders. Usually she would have thrown out the intruder in the second she noticed her, but this time was something different. She just watched her sneaking up the board and wanted to know more about the strange passenger. Isabella waited hours long and kept an eye on Leliana. But nothing happened. She knew, she has to move, because it would be bad for her reputation, if someone else would find the stowaway in the cargo bay. She pulled out her blades and slowly approched the crates where she presumed the girl.
Leliana was never weak, she was raised as a bard and a spy, she knew the Game, she was one of the best and she loved it. But now she felt nothing. Everything she knew, everything she was were gone. She never felt herself so alone. One tear after another was running on her face down, she was crying silent in the night. And in this moment she heard something. It was just a little squeak, but she knew instantly that she isn’t alone. The shadow in the darkness was quick, but she was quicker.
Isabella jumped over the crates, but there was nobody. She wanted to turn, but in the next second a sharp blade was on her neck. She dropped her weapons and smiled. She already liked Leliana. Isabella suggested cocky, that the ship is full with smuggled rum and maybe they should discuss this little incident in a more pleasant way. Leliana knew it could be a big mistake to trust this stranger, but she needed a friendly face and a strong drink right now.
They talked hours long. About their childhood, lovers, about their dreams and hopes, and fears. They fell asleep in the arms of each other. Whit the first light woke Isabela. She watched Leliana and she knew, that this could be something real. She was never really in love with someone. It was mostly just physical attraction and desire, but this time was something different.
In the next weeks they traveled together on the Waking Sea, Leliana helped solving a few business issues for Isabella, but most of the time they enjoyed the company of each other. Isabella grew more and more on Leliana, but she couldn’t not see, that the girl was somewhere else in mind.
Leliana loved the Sea, it helped her thinking clear. She just watched the waves for hours and thought about her life. She loved Isabella, she liked the unbounded life on a smuggler ship, the deals she made in the dockyards, but she couldn’t see herself in this. She wanted to find her own purpose, her own destiny and she needed to come clear with herself first.
Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. Leliana was thankful to Isabella. This few weeks showed her, that there is always hope, there is always a friend and always chance for love. They kissed goodbye on the shores of Lake Calenhad. Isabela promised to come back someday for her. But life was keeping something else for them.
Leliana looked on the letter, wiped the tears off of her face and decided to travel to Kirkwall. She wanted to find out personally why the Qunaris take Isabella…

CONTEST: Strange Bedfellows!

CONTEST: Strange Bedfellows!

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